Mindless

I always knew I had “open-mouth-insert-foot” syndrome, but sometimes even I surprise myself by the things I say. I don’t know what to do with myself, I have pretty much resigned in myself the known fact that my unadulterated tongue (and slightly weird sense of humor) can land me in pretty embarrassing situations. But what can ya do, right???

I went and said something that I thought would be funny, but ended up just making me sound like a completely hell-worthy terrible person-nothing new there-and here’s the kicker: I said this ill-timed “joke” of mine in front of a patient!!! Yeah, I’m not one who is known for my impeccable timing…

It was mid-morning and the fire alarm drill went off. Everyone in my clinic completely ignored it, nothing unusual there, and kept on working away. (Since we have a door directly to the outside, we do not usually participate in the numerous fire drills that randomly go off). We do not sense a threat until we smell smoke or see fire (which is not what they teach you in school), then of course we would grab our valuables and our patients (yes, in that order- don’t judge) and scram out of the building. But during this particular fire drill (as with all the rest) there was no smoke nor fire, so it was ignore the sounding alarms and keep our noses to the grind and work. 

Our courier service that was trying to get out of our “hole-in-the-wall-alleyway-excuse-for-a-parking-lot” came in to complain that he couldn’t back out because there was a wall of people standing in the way of him backing out. Nothing new there-at this point we could all add “parking police” to our job description for the amount of time we spend attending to complaints and situations in our parking lot. Running on my mindless bantering autopilot, I immediately replied: 

“Eh, just run ’em over. You can get us some new prosthetic patients. It’s a win all around.” 

Would you think of me any less (than you already do), knowing that I was pretty proud of myself for coming up with that off-the-cuff?

I got the touch-I’m witty AND funny! HA

Oh, wait. Why am I the only one laughing? Why is everyone staring at me in disbelief???

Oh god. I just said that in front of a prosthetic patient….

I just want to crawl under the desk and pretend I was never here…

 

I swear my big, loud mouth, mixed with my inability to think before I speak, is going to be the basis of my undoing one of these days.